So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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