worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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