guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
porn star boner night. come get it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
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Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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