dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
