I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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