not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
