I hate your face
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
