you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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