I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
