I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
