i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
