Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
