So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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