Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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