My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize