HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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