The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So much Jack, so little girl.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
