New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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