and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
