I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize