summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
