I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
