if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
They left me at home... I'm a liability
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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