I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
