If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
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In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
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wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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