she looked like the before picture.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
