JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
