is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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