You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
