It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize