How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
