I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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