'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
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Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
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The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.