The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
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we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
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She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.