Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
