this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
