So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So squirting runs in the family.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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