Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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