So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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