never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
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I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
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Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize