I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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