tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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