I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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