so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
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Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
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When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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