He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
