He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
