Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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