A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
