guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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