I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
