Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
