So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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