there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
