okay pat passed out under dana's car
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
