I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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