He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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