Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize