so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize